Life is Changing

Several weeks ago Jon and I heard about a missions opportunity that really inspired us. I'm not going to share the details yet (mostly because there are a lot I need to find out still), but we were both very excited and felt that God was pulling us in that direction. As we talked about it being a possibility, Jon voiced some concerns. We have a fair amount of debt, what with student loans, house payments, car payments, ect. How would we be able to go on the mission field since we have to pay so much a month toward those debts? We both agreed to continue praying, and that if this is what God wanted us to pursue, then He would make it happen.
Three days later, Jon was contacted by a contracting agency, and they had matched him up with a job in Florida. Then next day Jon had an interview on skype, and then the day after that he was offered the job. We had agreed that if he was offered the job then he should take it, because the pay would be so much more than he was making at the time, and that would allow us to pay off our debts so much faster, hence moving along the road to missions. They wanted him to start in two weeks. Those couple weeks were extremely busy, filled with packing and cramming in as many last-minute get-togethers with friends as we could!
We are now in Florida, living with Jon's parents until our house in SC sells. The day after we moved here poor Simon came down with the stomach bug, and has had it ever since! We are praying for his recovery. He is staying hydrated with lots of breastfeeding (ouchie), water, and juice, but he's not too happy because he doesn't feel good. Lacey has been very well behaved and sweet. She has her difficult moments, but overall she's such a big help, and so full of love for everyone. Jon is adjusting pretty well to his new job, although he was out today because he succumbed to the bug.... Daisy-the-dog realizes that this is our current residence, because she has taken up the role of guard dog for the house. She never barked at anyone when we just visited here, but she's smart, and knows that we live here now.
This has been a huge change, leaving our comfortable house and living with someone else along with being in a semi-new (I have visited family in FL often all my life, so I have a lot of memories here) area. It was so hard leaving so many good friends in SC. I didn't realize how many friends I had there until I had to leave. I'm thankful for facebook, but it's not the same. It's also challenging here because I have to locate resources for more natural foods, along with just finding my way around. I am enjoying the sunny warm weather though! Today I finally got out and went to Publix, and was amused to see so many people dressed in winter coats and hooded sweatshirts. It felt quite warm to me. I'm looking forward to even warmer weather though, when we can play at the beach!
All in all, this isn't where I would have chosen to live, but I know that God wants us here, and I am content in that. Through all of these changes I continue clinging to my Saviour, and I feel safe and secure.
That was my news update. Maybe later I'll get a chance to write down my actual feelings and rambling ponderings on all of this.

Christmas Longing

As usual, this Christmas season has jumped up on me, and I'm staggering, wondering how it came so fast. There's a lot of excitement this time as usual, but I'm really looking forward to watching my kids enjoy the season. Simon was only a year old last year, so he didn't really care that much. This year he is definitely already picking up on the excitement, enjoying the singing, and loving the decorations. I am so thankful for my kids. Each day (several times a day) I thank the Lord for those 2 darling blessings that he has given me. Part of why I do it so often now is that I realize how fragile life really is. I still hurt a lot from losing a baby a couple months ago. I would be nearly halfway through the pregnancy by now. I was looking forward so much to getting to know this new child, and welcoming her into our family. I know that God is in control. He has kept me sane throughout this loss, and sustained me, especially by reminding me to take joy in the children that are here with me now. Some days are harder than other though. It seems that every other day I am finding out that someone else I know is pregnant, or someone else just had a baby. It's hard not to turn into a bitter, jealous, green monster. Sometimes I think I do turn into that for a moment, but then I surrender to God because if I didn't the hurt would just kill me. Don't get me wrong. I am so happy for all those who are enjoying pregnancies and new babies right now. It just reminds of what I lost. I do know that someday when I get to heaven I will hold River in my arms and hug her and kiss her. Lacey and I were talking about heaven the other day, and Lacey said that Jesus is holding baby River, so we don't need to worry. Needless to say I had a very hard time not bursting out in loud sobs. It helps to realize that God sent His only son as a helpless little baby into this cruel world. That had to have been so hard to do, but He loves us so much! We are so blessed to have a Saviour who loves us that much. He is always with us. I still long for a baby. My arms feel empty too often now that Simon is becoming so independent. I would adopt any baby in a heartbeat, given the opportunity. I think this mother's love that I feel is a tiny bit like what God feels for us. He aches to hold us in His arms, and when we are lost from Him, His heart breaks. Whatever we have to go through, here on earth, He has been through it first, and in a much more intense way. He knows our suffering, He feels our pain, and He will never leave us.

Books!

Several months ago I finally got back into reading for fun. For a while I had put that wonderful pastime aside due to taking care of kids, husband, house, ect. I never should have put it aside! It's so refreshing. I love to pick up a good fantasy novel, and drift into a different world for a few minutes. It makes me feel younger again, like I'm still that teenage girl stretched out on her bed reading away an afternoon. Don't worry, I don't let it block out my responsibilities (who could block out those two noisy little responsibilities? ;). I found that in those few years of not reading much, my vocabulary was truncated. After picking up books again it has improved dramatically. It's hard to keep up much of a vocabulary when you mainly communicate to darling kids under the age of 5. It's important though. In our culture, where everything is becoming so dumbed down, we need to step up and teach our kids big, beautiful, and accurate words. I was slightly shocked (horrified, really) when my husband informed me that in a training class at his work that they were told that everything they write should be at a 5th grade level. It seems that that's about the level most adults operate under now. My husband brought up a good point: If the 5th grade is the level they operate/communicate at, then why bother schooling any farther? Obviously, the school system doesn't work! But alas, I'm off on a bunny trail....or am I? Maybe it all boils down to books, and the love (or lack thereof) of them. Books used to be one of the main sources of entertainment, but not anymore. Everywhere you look now there are screens. Screens taking over the real sights and sounds of this world. There's nothing wrong with them, but there are just too many, and they're increasing! Increasing in number, increasing in intensity, and increasing in quality, which is probably the main reason they are increasing. We need to wake up people! Get your face away from the screen and look out the window! What do you see? What do you smell? (If you're at my house you will likely smell a dirty diaper or a dog fart, or some forgotten old food in the corner. Haha no it's not really that bad). People can get lost in books as well, and forget the world around them, but it's not as intrusive as screens tend to be. Ok. Nuff said. G'night.

Tea Time

Ever since I turned 12 I've been drinking coffee. Usually about 1-3 cups a day. It relaxed me, and even when I was a teenager drinking it with caffeine would make me sleepy. During my first pregnancy, however, I had to switch to decaf, because it would make my heart race to have that much caffeine. Coffee time is all about relaxing. Taking the time to sit and sip. My husband and I would generally make a pot of coffee after the kids were in bed. Last month after drinking a cup of afternoon coffee I started feeling really sick to my stomach....later that day I realized I had the stomach flu. Not fun. Ever since then I have lost my deep connection to coffee. Maybe it will return, who knows? Oh, I still enjoy a cup now and then, and still especially love my frozen mochas from Panera Bread, but I'm not addicted to it anymore. I've switched to tea. I've always enjoyed tea, but now it has taken Coffee's place. I must have tea everyday, and I prefer to drink it when I have time to really relax. While Simon takes his nap, Lacey and I will often enjoy a tea party together. I go all the way, and make it look beautiful. When the kids are in bed Jon and I often enjoy tea together as well. I love to make a pot, then put some milk in the little pitcher, and set it all on a tray, along with some pretty tea cups. I have some good memories as a child of having tea parties, especially one where I remember my daddy joining my sisters and I. He made us laugh so it was hard to drink the tea. Tea time is a good time to talk to someone. Having it in small tea cups keeps you near the tea set since you will need a refill or two. It also helps this sometimes frazzled and funky mom to feel elegant as I sit up straight and gracefully sip my tea. I give the glory to God for moments like those. He likes it when we stop moving so fast and sit and listen to our loved ones. What is something you do to relax and let time catch up to you?

Introduction to the blogging world

This is a blog that will basically be comprised of my thoughts, comings and goings, and creations. I've thought for awhile about starting a blog, and believe it or not, the thing stopping me was the title. I couldn't think of one that wouldn't be completely cheesy, and would also be specifically me (yes, I know I just called myself cheesy). I was talking with Jon the other day, and he was saying how I am his little 'free spirit.' I told him yes, but not crazy free spirit. I'm a Guided free spirit! Then it hit me. I could use that for a blog title. Sweet! Next, I had to find the time to create one...well, obviously, I found time. This post will be mostly mindless, as I am carrying on a conversation with my 4 year old, while attempting to write, and also tinkering with an occasional toy that my 20 month old brings to me.

I have a lot of thoughts, opinions, and some solutions that I want to share to those who want to listen. If you don't like what I write about, then please go away. You can read someone else's blog that tickles your ears...eyes...whatever.

Since this post is mostly nonsense, I will now end it. I hope to find times in the evenings when kids are sleeping to be able to write.