A Different Path for Parenting

Not too long ago I read a couple of really good articles (here and here) that led me to have an epiphany on child-rearing. This is something that has been growing in my mind, but I wasn't quite sure what it was or how to define it. Now I know. My husband and I have decided that we don't want to teach our children to obey without question. We want to teach them respect, and how to think for themselves. When I order my kids to do something, I put myself in a bad place. If they rebel will I force them to follow my orders, or do I just let them have their way and ignore the outcome? It works so much better when I politely ask them to do (or not to do) something. More often than not they respond the way I want them to, all the while feeling that they are respected and not just ordered around like mindless minions. Sometimes they still refuse, or want to know why, so I explain it to them. Yes it's tiring. Yes they are unreasonable at times, but I think this will lead to keeping a close relationship even through their teens.

I think parents too often are judged on how their small children behave. Now, I don't mean that it's appropriate to let them run wild to the point of destroying stuff and making messes in other peoples' homes. Oftentimes we do need to physically restrain our toddlers. At the same time though, we need to explain to our children what we're doing, and why they aren't allowed to behave that way. Not just "because I said so."

This won't be an easy path, but no one ever said parenting was easy. It doesn't mean I'm not going to ever tell my children what to do, but I will make a huge effort to stop ordering them around. No one likes to be treated that way. Children are just as important as adults, and should be given the same amount of respect.

Well, I still have many more thoughts on the subject, but for now, motherhood calls. Maybe more will come later, maybe not ;)

How Deep the Father's Love for Us.

Okay, my last post was kinda depressing. God heard my pleas and prayers and answered them with truly an amazing gift! I am pregnant! 5 months ago I lost a baby to a miscarriage. My heart was broken, but I continued to trust in Jesus, knowing that He still cares for me. I am just so thankful and so thrilled to be pregnant again! I will always miss the little one that I lost. I will never forget my little River, but God has given us another chance. Children are a gift from the Lord. I have 4 amazing gifts. Lacey (5), Simon (2.5), River (in heaven), and this tiny baby growing inside me right now. Lord, I pray that you would protect this baby from all harm, and that he/she would growing and be healthy and strong. I don't want to lose this one dear Father. I trust You. You are the only one that can truly keep anyone safe. Please protect this little life, and help it to grow up and live to a ripe old age!

I am so excited! My husband and I already picked out names! Jon is so excited too! He has been longing for another child just as I have. It warms my heart to see how excited he is. He's been so sweet too! This evening I had a terrible chocolate and coffee craving, so he went to starbucks and got me a decaf coffee and a brownie! I really need to watch what I eat though....I'm glad because I got back down to my pre-Simon weight. That was what I hoped to do before getting pregnant again. God, You are SO good! I don't deserve this. On my knees I praise and thank You for Your everlasting love and kindness. Great is the Lord and worthy to be praised!!!!

Home; A Sanctuary

I'm not even sure where to begin, but maybe the words will just tumble out at they come into my head. I don't even know how I'm feeling right now. Sometimes I'm really content, and then so many other times I'm frustrated, discontent, and somewhat depressed. I need to be closer to God. There is no other cure. I know that. I have excuses, yes. None of them very good. Some of them involving spending all my waking hours hauling Simon out of trouble in this non-childproof house we are living in right now. Because of another resident of this house I have to constantly watch what I say or it might be taken the wrong way, or challenged. Not very pleasant when it's the place you call home for the time being. Home is supposed to be where you can relax and be yourself, and where everyone accepts you for who you are. Home. How I long to be in my eternal home. No more sorrows or struggles or feelings of complete inadequacy and ugliness. I will be perfect, and forever loved. Home is where my heart is. No amount of dieting, exercising, buying fashionable clothes, watching movies or reading books can satisfy. How much longer must I wait. I need to be content where I am. I know I'm being tested. I think I am failing miserably. The truth is, I'm pretty sure I am ugly, and not very intelligent, fat, and a terrible wife and mother to those 3 that I love most. I just want to leave this earth. I would never consider suicide. I know that's wrong. I just long for my heavenly home...the link sets the mood.

Life is Changing

Several weeks ago Jon and I heard about a missions opportunity that really inspired us. I'm not going to share the details yet (mostly because there are a lot I need to find out still), but we were both very excited and felt that God was pulling us in that direction. As we talked about it being a possibility, Jon voiced some concerns. We have a fair amount of debt, what with student loans, house payments, car payments, ect. How would we be able to go on the mission field since we have to pay so much a month toward those debts? We both agreed to continue praying, and that if this is what God wanted us to pursue, then He would make it happen.
Three days later, Jon was contacted by a contracting agency, and they had matched him up with a job in Florida. Then next day Jon had an interview on skype, and then the day after that he was offered the job. We had agreed that if he was offered the job then he should take it, because the pay would be so much more than he was making at the time, and that would allow us to pay off our debts so much faster, hence moving along the road to missions. They wanted him to start in two weeks. Those couple weeks were extremely busy, filled with packing and cramming in as many last-minute get-togethers with friends as we could!
We are now in Florida, living with Jon's parents until our house in SC sells. The day after we moved here poor Simon came down with the stomach bug, and has had it ever since! We are praying for his recovery. He is staying hydrated with lots of breastfeeding (ouchie), water, and juice, but he's not too happy because he doesn't feel good. Lacey has been very well behaved and sweet. She has her difficult moments, but overall she's such a big help, and so full of love for everyone. Jon is adjusting pretty well to his new job, although he was out today because he succumbed to the bug.... Daisy-the-dog realizes that this is our current residence, because she has taken up the role of guard dog for the house. She never barked at anyone when we just visited here, but she's smart, and knows that we live here now.
This has been a huge change, leaving our comfortable house and living with someone else along with being in a semi-new (I have visited family in FL often all my life, so I have a lot of memories here) area. It was so hard leaving so many good friends in SC. I didn't realize how many friends I had there until I had to leave. I'm thankful for facebook, but it's not the same. It's also challenging here because I have to locate resources for more natural foods, along with just finding my way around. I am enjoying the sunny warm weather though! Today I finally got out and went to Publix, and was amused to see so many people dressed in winter coats and hooded sweatshirts. It felt quite warm to me. I'm looking forward to even warmer weather though, when we can play at the beach!
All in all, this isn't where I would have chosen to live, but I know that God wants us here, and I am content in that. Through all of these changes I continue clinging to my Saviour, and I feel safe and secure.
That was my news update. Maybe later I'll get a chance to write down my actual feelings and rambling ponderings on all of this.